I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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