apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
