Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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