Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
