What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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