So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
