Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Don't tempt me, I need beer money.

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(914): View more from New York

Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.

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(903): View more from Texas

he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.

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(815): View more from Illinois

All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.

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