none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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