Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
