I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
