My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
