I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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