Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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