i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
And then my night got REAL pukey
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
