Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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