In the future we'll all be gay
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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