hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
