She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
