so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
