I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
how do flat chested girls get laid?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
