imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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