We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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