Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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