He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
