do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
