It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
