that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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