ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
