just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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