AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
