He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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