If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
