Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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