im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize