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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  obviously you're part succubus.

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• (845): View more from New York

  no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

  (516): View more from New York

  You wear Armani Exchange.

  Fav 16 956 2406

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

  Fav 6 817 2178

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.

  Fav 0 82 8

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