your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Randomize
