So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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