I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
