god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
