Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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