I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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