Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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