My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
