I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
