pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
