one might say we're banned from that church
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
