I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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