I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize