Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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