So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
