operation harelip BJ is a go
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
