maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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