also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
