I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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