So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
