all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I intend to get homeless drunk
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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