i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
