people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
