Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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