how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
