I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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