Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
