u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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