i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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