The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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