Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
