dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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