Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
