I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
